The Comparison Game – Its Messing With Your Mind
At a all retreats, workshops, seminars, etc… there are breakthroughs that happen. Epiphanies if you will. Some one says something in just right way that you finally hear the wheels go “click” in your head. Shivers and goosebumps happen and you realize.
AHHHHH!!!! That moment of TRUTH!!!!
That happened at just such an event this week. Often the comparison game gets to messing with our heads. You look around you at the people in your life or on tv, magazines, etc… and you think constantly – I want…It would be nice to Be______have ___________ Do_____
You can full in the blanks here for yourself.
See where this is going. In the words of the clever Kate Northrup “This type of thinking makes you feel like KA KA”
When you start feeling like Ka Ka or less. All you think about is what is “lacking” in your own world order. You know in truth that there are some really amazing and positive happenings daily and all around you but your head on the comparison game is a nightmare. Once the I want/would be nice ….game begins it can be all down hill.
And when the Ka Ka feeling starts negativity, bad moods, depression, and your health follows suit.
Check it out and seriously look around you. And try this exercise instead.
What is your definition of success? What does it look and feel like to you?
For me, its being able to have not only financial freedom but time freedom as well. To be able to wake up each day and do what I love to do on a schedule of my own making. To be a really fun and available mom to my kids and being able to help people change their lives and futures. To feel as though I am making a difference in the world helping others.
Next step: How will success look when you get there? What will you be able to do? Be? Have?
Write it out very clearly. Pretend your back at age 5 and let your imagination soar.
Now: What does my day look like when that success arrives? Map out that perfect day.
As I did this exercise I wrote out how my day looked. And then, that moment of clarity happened!
I realized that I am already living my definition. Right NOW! Except for a few tweaks here and there. I am living my ideal situation of success. I’m acknowledging that I find myself wanting more and comparing constantly where others are at their points of building their businesses or lives. BUT TRUTH! The life I am crafting to my definition of success is already here and I am not even taking the time to enjoy it because I let my head mess with me.
Another attendee was asked to read her perfect day out loud. As she did so OUT LOUD. You could see the same realization also come over her. She even said it after reading her day vision – “AND I JUST REALIZED I ALREADY AM LIVING THIS!!!”
I have already crafted my definition of success and am living it. I get up before my kiddos, enjoy my time alone, then get ready to start my day with them. kids to school or fun stuff during the summer months on our own schedule of time. Then I do the few errands I need to check off my day or just do nothing. Focusing 2-3 hrs of my day on work projects or clients. Then time with my kids after school, homework and playtime, dinner, reconnecting time with my love before bed. These are my love hours because its family focus.
Realize that you might be closer to the truth than you realize. If you are not, well next time we will focus on making action steps to master those changes you want to make.